A Story of a Brooch
by Onesimus42
Summary: The journey that a brooch takes. Very slight, maybe series 2 spoiler in Chapter 4
1. Chapter 1

**For those of you who have read my previous fics, you'll know about the brooch that is described here. If not, then you might want to go back and read "The Last Will & Testament of Charles Carson", although I think it can be understood on its own. This story is just a few chapters to look at the journey that brooch takes. This chapter features Charles' mother, who is housekeeper of Downton, and her own butler. They are my own invention set in the world Julian Fellowes created. I confess that I have fallen in love with them just a little, so please indulge me in this chapter.**

_**Downton Abbey, August, 1869**_

Grace Carson was having some difficulty finishing getting dressed. Her difficulty was not a physical one, but a mental or rather an emotional one. She was trying to decide whether to wear a particular item. It was a brooch, specifically her luckenbooth. She'd never thought about wearing it before, simply putting it on nearly every day for the past eighteen years, except when it had been pinned to little Charles' blankets, of course. Grimacing, sometimes now she just wished she'd let the fairies have him, she wasn't completely convinced that they'd not stolen his brains at least. Silly boy! Leaving at the age of 16 proudly declaring he'd rather starve than be at another man's beck and call. If he was ever actually starving, she was sure he'd feel differently.

Shaking her head a little, she realized this wasn't going to solve her problem of whether to wear the brooch or not. She remembered her joy when Edward had presented it to her the day he asked her to marry him. Wearing it even after his death six years ago had made it seem that they were still connected somehow. Now, though that sad conversation from a few weeks ago replayed itself in her mind. Samuel Jerkyns, frustratingly kind and a little sad, had asked her if perhaps she might be continuing to wear it because she was afraid of letting go of the past, of beginning again. She wondered if perhaps she dared to move on, to possibly care for someone again. Thoughts of a pair of kind gray eyes over a gentle smile filled her mind. Laying the brooch back on her dresser, she decided that today was the time to stop wearing it.

Making her morning rounds to see that the fires were lit and all was tidy to start the day, she felt the lack of the luckenbooth acutely. She found herself touching its customary place on the left side of her chest frequently. Going down the steps to breakfast, she wondered if those kind, sharp, gray eyes would notice the lack, and her heart quickened a little at the thought. If he asked, she promised herself that she would tell him why she had left it off. There would be no more dissembling between them.

Standing as Mrs. Carson entered; Mr. Jerkyns greeted her and quickly moved to pull out her chair. Glancing down the table, he ensured that all the other men were doing the same for the girls closest to them. Once she was settled, he sat down himself at the head of the table and indicated that it was time to eat. He glanced over at her as he started on his porridge, and his spoon stopped halfway to his mouth. Catching himself, he realized that he was staring at her chest and quickly fixed his attention on his bowl so that he could finish eating. While he ate all his breakfast, he tasted nothing. His mind was focused on only one thought. She wasn't wearing it, specifically her brooch. Heart soaring, he believed this could only mean one thing. She was ready. Trying to rein in his racing thoughts, he told himself that she could merely have forgotten it this morning as unlikely as that might be. He would wait and watch until the end of the day. She might yet return to her room and put it on.

Smiling to herself, Mrs. Carson knew that he'd noticed the moment he'd looked over at her. It was rather gratifying at her age to think that a man still looked first at her chest. She noticed the pause in his eating and wondered what he was thinking. With a small smile, she finished her own breakfast and looked forward to the discussion that she was sure would come quickly. She was disappointed when the morning passed and he did not seek her out. A little downcast, she went into luncheon and her spirits lifted when she noticed his quick downward glance and small smile. Surely, he would find her this afternoon to ask her about the missing brooch. Again, she was disappointed when the afternoon passed with no appearance by her butler. That night was unfortunately a very busy one. There were three other couples to dine with Lord and Lady Grantham. Mrs. Carson found herself a little grateful because it kept Mr. Jerkyns busy upstairs. She was also glad to have the work to keep her mind off of him. She saw him only briefly at their dinner before he was back upstairs to see to the Lord and Lady and their guests.

After she had supervised the clearing up and made sure the china was safely stored away, she went to her parlor. Trying to read a book she found herself sitting for a quarter of an hour without turning the page. Giving up in disgust, she decided to forgo her custom of waiting until her butler came down and started off to bed. She was halfway to the ground floor when she heard the upper door open softly and saw him starting downstairs wearily with a tray of wine glasses in hand. Seeing her he stopped and smiled hesitantly, "Are you off to bed, Mrs. Carson? I had hoped to talk to you for a moment, but I won't keep you if you're tired."

Her heart lifted, "Not at all, Mr. Jerkyns. I'd be happy to join you." She turned and went back down the stairs. Turning at the bottom, she took the tray from him, "Let me take that to the scullery while you lock up."

He nodded appreciatively and went to do just that. Coming to the door of his pantry, she found him placing the last items of silver in the cabinet and closing the doors, key in hand to lock them. When he'd finished, he turned and again looked quickly down at her chest. Looking back into her eyes with a smile, he took a step toward her, "Mrs. Carson, I couldn't help noticing that something was missing from your customary attire this morning."

She didn't want to make this too easy for him after the disappointing day she'd had. Biting back her own smile, she took a small step toward him, "And what would that be, Mr. Jerkyns?"

Smile deepening he took another step toward her, "A small brooch that you generally wear about here," he indicated the left side of her chest, "Did you forget it?"

She took another step forward, no longer biting back her smile, "No, I thought about it quite a bit. I left it off quite deliberately."

One more step brought him just a few inches from her. His kind, gray eyes searched her face, and he asked quietly, "Why?"

She was disconcerted at having him so close and looking at her so intently. He was only perhaps an inch taller than her, so she found that she was looking directly into his eyes. She answered a little breathlessly, "To begin again."

Taking her elbow in his hand, he asked one last hopeful question, "With me?"

Mouth suddenly dry, she nodded as she watched those gray eyes, seeing them close as he moved quickly to kiss her.

After several blissful moments he broke the kiss and drew her to him. "I'm glad, Grace, very glad," he whispered against her cheek.

Much later after a long discussion, well, a little discussion and a lot of kissing, with _Samuel_ as she now could call him in their private moments, she returned to her room. Seeing the luckenbooth lying on her dresser she smiled. She had been so happy when she had put it on for the first time. Now, she was just as happy that she had left it off today. Taking a small piece of tissue, she wrapped it carefully and placed it in an envelope, sitting down to write a short note to Charles so he could understand how important that it was.


	2. Chapter 2

**I wanted to get this chapter up quickly so that we got into the timeframe of season one with actual characters from the series and not just figments of my imagination. **

_**Downton Abbey May, 1913**_

Charles' fingers brushed the envelope in his dresser drawer as he reached inside for his brush. Pulling it out, he studied it for a moment running his fingers over his name in his mother's handwriting before opening it to look at the small object that was inside. Unwrapping the tissue paper, he smiled sadly as he saw the familiar intertwined hearts. He remembered how his mother had worn this for so many years and how he had found it in this envelope among her things after she died. She'd also left him a small note so that he would understand just how important this piece of jewelry was. He supposed that she probably wanted to make sure that he would not be such an idiot as to pawn it. She had, after all, written this during his 'years of stupidity' as he now thought of them.

Pulling the note from the envelope he unfolded it carefully so that he could read it again.

_August 19, 1869_

_Charles,_

_I hope to be able to give you this brooch myself, but you are off finding your own way now, and I am not sure if that way will ever return you to me. If I am fortunate enough to meet the woman you marry, I will give it to you then. Regardless, you need to know the importance of this brooch, and I do not believe we ever fully explained it to you. _

_It is a luckenbooth; a token that a man gives to the woman he marries. It has been passed down in your father's family for a very long time. Your father gave it to me when he asked me to marry him, and I have worn it gladly until now. Today, I have removed it just as gladly so that I could let go of the past, and I am saving it for you to give to your wife._

_I know that no man would like to have advice from his mother on the woman he should marry, but you also know that I am stubborn enough to give it anyway. You are so like your father in many ways: stubborn, faithful, unbending, honest, head-strong, kind. You need a woman who is just as strong as you because I believe that you will come to despise a woman who is too weak and agreeable. I believe that you would only be truly happy with a woman as hard-headed as you that you could see as your equal. Choose wisely, because I am certain you will never back down from your choice once you have made it._

_When you have a son, you should pin this brooch to his blankets as we pinned it to yours to save you from the fairies. While with your recent actions I wish at times I let them have you, I still have hope that you will not disappoint. Perhaps you will come back to your senses given time._

_I hope this brooch brings you and your future wife as much happiness as it brought to your father and me._

_Your loving Mother_

He'd only ever known one woman that he wanted to marry, and she certainly fit his mother's description, strong and just as stubborn in her own way as he was in his. Smiling to himself, he wondered what Mrs. Hughes would hit him with if he described her as 'weak and agreeable'. In many ways, he wished that he'd given her this brooch twenty years ago but now as he approached sixty, it seemed too late. He fantasized a little at what their lives might have been like if he had. They almost certainly would have had to leave service. Would they have opened a shop? Perhaps he might have worked as a clerk or in a factory. Whatever he might have done, he was sure that he would have been glad to come back to her at the end of each day. While he supposed he'd have liked to have a son, he could only picture a little brown-eyed girl in his mind named Grace. Shaking his head to clear these thoughts, he told himself he was being silly. She would likely have never wanted to marry him, and even if she had, they had not chosen that path. No matter how much he might wish it different, their lives were what they were. They were friends, good friends, and that would have to be enough.

He frowned a little at the thought that she would have this brooch after he died. He was going today to speak to Mr. Crawley about his will. Mrs. Hughes would have everything; this brooch, all his belongings (imagining her sorting through his things made him just a little uncomfortable and he decided he should probably toss a few of the more decrepit pairs of undershorts), and his money. He wondered if she might guess at his feelings for her or perhaps be hurt by thinking that he didn't care for her enough to give her this brooch. For some reason, that she might believe he didn't care for her bothered him very much. His actions on this day should prove how very dear she was to him. He was going to ensure that she be taken care of after his death. After 'the years of stupidity', he had been very frugal with his money. She would benefit from his frugality, and he was glad that she would not have to work up until the day she died.

Thinking about his own mother's death, he remembered running up to her room the day that she didn't come down for breakfast. Mr. Jerkyns had burst into her room just behind him. Charles would never forget the look of utter anguish on his face. He had found Mr. Jerkyns' letters while clearing out his mother's things. He gave them to him without ever reading them but had read them since. They, along with his mother's letters to Mr. Jerkyns were neatly stowed in a little box on top of his wardrobe. He knew he should probably destroy them before he died, but each time he tried to do it something held him back. He wished that he could discuss them with Mrs. Hughes and let her help him decide what to do.

With his thoughts drawn back to Mrs. Hughes, he again thought of the luckenbooth. He very much regretted that they had never gotten past Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes to Charles and Elsie. Perhaps, he might still give it to her. Knowing that she would have it after his death anyway made him just a little more bold. If only he could be sure that if he did give it to her she would not laugh at him or worse, pity him. He would very much like to see her wear it just as his mother had. If he had the slightest thought that she would wear it gladly and call him Charles, he would give it to her as soon as he saw her.

Looking at his watch, he realized that he was going to be late. Re-wrapping the brooch quickly, he tucked it and the note back in the envelope and pushed it to the back of his dresser drawer. Promising himself to think about it more, he headed off for his meeting with Mr. Crawley.

"**The Last Will & Testament of Charles Carson" should be inserted between this chapter and the next. Again, I am trying to make it understandable even without reading that. Again, any reviews or suggestions are greatly appreciated. **


	3. Chapter 3

Elsie smiled at her reflection in the mirror or more specifically the reflection of the small brooch over her left breast. It was a luckenbooth. Something she'd never thought she would own, but tonight the man most dear to her heart had given it to her. Touching it gently, she remembered the tremor of his hands when he pinned it to her breast and his smile of pure joy when he saw it there. He had been nervous when he told her about the brooch and its history but hopeful when he'd asked if she would wear it. Of course she would! She almost didn't want to take it off even now. Her only regret was that she could not wear it openly every day so that she could see the pleasure it would bring him.

This day had certainly been one of extremes. Over the past week she had been worried about his health and worried that she might lose her butler. He'd finally convinced her that he was well only for her to find his will on his desk. She had been so worried when she found it, convinced that he must be very ill to have made out his will. Now, she knew he was healthy, touching her lips she realized that he was _very_ healthy. Not only was he healthy, he loved her and had loved her for years. This brooch proved that love. It was something that one would only give to the woman they wanted to marry, and he had told her that she was the _only _woman he'd ever want to marry. She would gladly wear this brooch as a symbol of his love.

No; His love was not proved by this brooch but by his actions. He had taken great pains to ensure that she would be cared for after his death. In truth, he took great pains to care for her now. She had always appreciated his thoughtfulness in being willing to do her errands while he was in the village. He frustrated her sometimes with his insistence on carrying items for her or opening doors, but now she saw that this had been his way of caring for her all along. She smiled as she thought of how he used his body to shield her from the wind on blustery days as they walked to the village. How had she mistaken all those little actions as merely friendship? Surely he was showing her his love even then. Silly woman! She should have paid more attention.

She wished in some ways that he would have felt free to give this brooch to her years ago. Fantasizing a little about what their lives would have been if he had, she wondered if they would have married and left service or remained here keeping their relationship secret. If they had married, would he have been willing to work in a shop or factory? She was not sure if she could have been happy as a wife and mother with no outside job of her own. They could probably have run a business quite well together, a pub or maybe a tobacco shop. They essentially ran a business together now, although with someone else's money.

Taking the luckenbooth off, she traced her fingers over the crown and two hearts; such a simple piece of jewelry, silver and plain with no jewels or carvings. She thought of all the women who might have worn it, and the men who had given it to them. Were the women as happy as she to receive it and the men as nervous as he had been? Did the women feel its presence like physical warmth, and the men smile at its presence? She thought for a moment about how it had been pinned to Charles' blankets as a baby. Somehow she just couldn't picture him as a babe. How could someone as large as he is now ever have been small enough to be held in a woman's arms?

Thinking of him as a baby naturally led her to thoughts of the child or children that they might have had together. Shaking her head a little, she decided it would be best not to think of that. If she did she might be overcome with regret. No, they had both made choices through the years that had led them to this point. If she spent too much time thinking of what might have been, she would never be able to enjoy the future that they would have together.

She looked forward to that future very much indeed as she remembered his kisses from tonight. They had been friends for ages, and she knew that there was more to him than the reticent, dignified butler he presented to the world, but she would never have dreamed he could be that passionate. The way his eyes had darkened and his breath had caught when his fingers brushed her breast as he pinned the luckenbooth there had fascinated her. She could easily believe he loved her, but it amazed her that he desired her as well. It was a little gratifying at her age to be an object of well, lust. His kisses and touches tonight had awakened her desires. She had teased him when he talked of moving on to more 'exuberant' activities, but in truth she found that she wanted those activities as much or more than he did.

Brushing out the hair that he'd mussed, she wondered where she could wear the brooch. She supposed the best course would be to pin it to the inside of her dress somewhere. Pinning it over her heart seemed most appropriate. She wished again that there was not the chance that someone would recognize the brooch for what it was and realize its significance. She would love to see Charles eyes when he spotted it on her dress each morning. With a small smile she thought again of the exuberant activities they could move on to and decided that Charles might yet see her wearing the brooch.

Laying the brooch on her dresser, she did regret that she had no son to pass it on to. Something that had brought so much joy to so many should not end in her grave with her. She would have to talk to Charles. Perhaps he wouldn't mind if she gave it to another young man someday to pass on to his love. For now though, it was hers to remind her of his love for her and of the future that they could have together.

**Thank you all again so much for your reviews. They have done a wonderful job of feeding my addiction. One more chapter and then I think I'll follow the suggestion of Batwings79 for a fluffy, fun Luckenbooth hide and seek fic.**


	4. Chapter 4

Looking in the mirror quickly before she walked out the door, she saw a tiny wisp of gray just at the temple. Frowning, she tucked it under the darker strands. Her gaze was drawn to the small brooch on the lapel of her jacket that always made her smile. At least she knew that his love would never be affected by her changing looks. They'd both proven many times that their love was much more than just skin deep.

Touching the brooch gently, she remembered the day he'd given it to her. They were both older and more scarred than the first time he'd asked her to marry him. He had given her that curious half smile that she'd grown to love, his eye shining with love for her. She'd fastened it on her breast and worn it there almost every day, except when it had been pinned to little Charles' blankets, of course.

He'd come back from the war scarred in body and soul, bitter and angry at the world. She had had her own hurts to deal with and scars that were visible only to him. Somehow her hurt had touched his bitterness and anger, and they'd come to love each other. Not a youthful infatuation or convenient match, but a love that could withstand the worst that life could bring because it had already.

She started a little when he came up behind her and touched her gently on the shoulder, looking at their reflections in the mirror side by side. She glanced up at his hair and noticed that it was streaked with gray now. Turning to him, she straightened his tie and smoothed the loose, pinned up sleeve. He traced the two intertwined hearts on her breast tenderly with the tip of his finger and leaned down to kiss her softly.

Putting his arm around Mary, he drew her to him to hold her for a moment. He still dreaded these public events and the stares that he received, but with her strength he felt that he could face them. He was hardly the only man in the village with visible scars from the war, and Mary had long ago convinced him that his willingness to be seen probably was a comfort to the other men. Mentally, he again blessed Mrs. Hughes for the gift of the luckenbooth. She had told him that it was in thanks for preparing Mr. Carson's will. When he protested that he'd already been paid most generously by Mr. Carson, she explained that this was for the service he'd done her. She never would have known of Mr. Carson's love if it hadn't been for that will, and she was very grateful for that knowledge. As she'd explained the history and significance of the brooch, that it should be given not just to a woman that one wished to marry, but to the only woman one would want to marry, he'd known immediately who that woman was for him. He wondered if he would ever have had the courage to ask her if Mrs. Hughes' gift had not given him that push.

Laying her head on Matthew's shoulder, Mary thought of how happy Mr. Carson had been when he'd seen her wear the brooch for the first time. She'd seen him genuinely surprised for the first time in her life, and then he smiled more broadly than she'd thought he could. When she asked if he minded that Mrs. Hughes had given the brooch away, he'd told her that he was very happy to have been able to see the three women he had loved most wear that brooch. She loved him in that moment more than anyone except Matthew because she knew that they two loved her unconditionally.

Knowing that Mr. Carson had likely loved Mrs. Hughes as she loved Matthew had surprised her a little then. In her silly youth, she thought it strange that two people as old as them could love each other. She even remembered how she and her sisters had giggled over the supposed affair between the housekeeper and butler when they were children, trying their best to catch them together. Smiling to herself a little ruefully, she realized that she and Matthew were now approaching that age, and she certainly didn't think it silly that they loved each other. She was sure her own children probably did, however.

Shaking her head a little, she knew that she was spending her time on these thoughts so that she could avoid going to the church as long as possible. It was a sad day for her. Mrs. Hughes was the last fixture from her childhood to die. She knew though that it was not really a sad day. Matthew had been most insistent that her grave was to be beside Mr. Carson. They had spent their lives together and now they could be together again. Taking Matthew's offered arm she walked to the door and waiting car.

As they rode down to the village she reflected that her own Charles would probably soon be ready to give this brooch to his future wife. It was important that he should know its history and significance. She promised herself to write him a note explaining it when they returned.

**Ok, I know that I said I couldn't do sad endings, but I don't think this is terribly sad. It would only be really sad if Charles and Elsie had never told each other of their love. I tried to be a little vague, but the series 2 spoilers do suggest that Matthew will not return unscarred from the war. As always, I greatly appreciate your reviews that feed my addiction.**


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